well tonight is...January..28 ..its 638 in the morning...me chris drew mondo and jessica stayed up all night....

tonight we all went bowling around 11 at a really peice of shit run down country ass bowlin alley....but ya know what...i had fun....i havnt been bowling in a long time and plus i was with people i really like......well we all played one game and then came back to the apt. ((after purchasing some intoxicating tasty beverages))  well i didn't have the money to drink so i remained sober while chris and jessica got drunk....that man is hillarious when tipsy ......anyways...well we were all outside havin a smoke (only me chris and jess smoked)  anyways they were all talkin and me and jess were just kind of sitting on the steps talking and she made a comment about passing  (when you take a drag of a cig and kiss the other person and blow )    and she asked if i wanted to try it.....at first i couldn't help but think of how it would break amy's heart if she knew i kissed another girl...whether smoke was involved or not...well after a while my mind drifted away from amy and realized that you only live once...jessica is pretty hot....and i believe i was developing a crush on her. ..((yeah yeah i know...i just met her like 4 hours earlier...silly aint it )) well before she got done with her cig i told her to "share some love" ....(( 70's line??? i think so..))  so we kissed....kind of...i dont know if you can call that a kiss....man i'm so confused... well anyways we did that about 4 times throughout the entire rest of the night until mondo took her to her dorm around 5 and everybody settled down...

I"m not sure if i should feel bad or not....i'm really confused and i dont know what to do.....

the next time we were alone i swore to myself i would ask her for her number ((not expecting to get it tho)) well anyways i never got that chance.....at 5 she was ready to go and made it clear...(kinda bitchy but i mean damn..she was up all night and really tired) i dont know ....what IS the definition of cheating people?....i mean...you can go by the selected "rules"  such as if its in another area code it doesn't count and such but i dont know.......why cant i get this off my mind.......tonight mondo made a comment that i need to work on my self esteme ...he said i'm not confident like i used to be ......and you know maybe he's right....i think he is....maybe the reason i'm so unhappy with so many aspects of my life is from lack of confidence....afterall whats the worst that a girl can really do....tell you no ?      i dont know...i have a lot of thinking to do which = a lot of cruzin ........

Well ...i took my final in math today...if you dont pass the final you dont pass the class and i'm scared to even know my grades.....i know i've failed really badly this semester...and i really feel like i let my dad and myself down.....being a computer science major...well shit being in college isn't as easy as i thought.....it blows my mind....but! i really think i'll do better next semester...i'll have a major that i really want to do .. Criminal Justice...brought to you by the Administration of Justice...((do it sound like i'm in a superhero guild now or what? ))...my computer science major really wasn't what i expected it to be at all....this shit is really hard and really stressfull....no thanks to hurricane Katrina either...that skank hoe....i mean dont get me wrong i really like computers and such...but i dont think thats for me...to much math i suppose...that and some of these ((and by some i mean all )) programing demensions are really hard...some things can just boggle the mind so much its not even funny....

My Plan for next semester is simple....I've changed my major to criminal justice ...(( the plan is to go to work for the Pascagoula Police Dept. when i graduate for a couple years...and either go to the Pascagoula Narcotics Task Force..or the Jackson County Task force....either one will do just fine....after that i'll go to the federal level...now because i'll have a degree i can either go to the Mississippi Bureau of Narcotics or into the FBI....which will kick ass....ANYWAYS.....me and my best friends Drew and Chris should be getting an appartment up here sometime in january...its a kick ass two story...i really think this will help with my study/homework habits...it will be nice to have a room just to myself .....i havn't had any privacy in about 6 months....which can wear down the mind very quickly...you dont realize how much you miss a room to yourself till dont have one...

    well anyways i see that some people have actually been visiting my little blog here...thanks for showing some interest....hopefully i'll get to talk to you people......you can im my screen name on aim...lil loser4207   ..well i'm out for now...

have fun people...

^{A little about myself}

^{well i'm 18 years old....a dude of course....i got to the University of Southern Mississippi as a Criminal Justice major....}

^{I started a mindsay blog journal place thing to comment to start making my own opinions about things....i've been silent for too long....i think i speak for everyone when i say i had stupid people}

Well i'll be back to actually do a half ass update later...i need to get some things done to make this place decent to blog on... hah oh yeah..before i forget...my name is layne ! i figured i'd put that in here since that is a big part of me...